Why is a Boss the Boss?

20 August 2009

I don’t know what to do about my boss!

Of late, I’ve become progressively clueless about how to deal with my boss. You see, of late, she has become increasingly, impossibly, forgetful and difficult to figure out.

Boss, looking at her laptop, furiously typing away: Who the hell approved of this newsletter? It’s outrageously gross!

Me, shifting the shocked eyes from her to the wall: Don’t you remember?

B, spreading her palms heavenwards: Am I supposed to?

Me, diplomatically, failing miserably: Not unless it’s you.

B, smiling: Oh! Change the designer, darling. He’s got no sense of colour or design.

Moi, sighing: Err…ok. (Here, I must mention I'm a poor little writer.)

Now, this kinda stuff happens at least twice a day. Formats are thoroughly approved. Once filled in, they're sent right back. They suddenly make no sense. Eventually, after a frenzy of to and fro, what was dismissed 2 months back will need to be redone to suit the current needs. Can you imagine what kind of time we are wasting? At the end of the day, it ought to be ‘met/not met deadline.’ Maybe someone worked until they went comatose trying to work at night, maybe not. Who cares as long as your targets are spot-on?

She does. She-who-should-not-be-named.

You see, here’s the logic: if you are someone who performs, you’re good to perform in all other fields as well. So, there’s a poor team member who is punished for being bright. If she can write, she can research. If she can research, she may as well find out what the competition is doing. And, while she is at it, she should also find out which PR agency is the best. Here, I am told to pitch in my expertise. I should find a printer. Oh! She forgot, I first need to do a couple designs to show the publisher what goes where. Could we please decide upon a new marketing brochure? She’d like to see it on an urgent basis. And, it slipped out of her mind to tell both of us to hire a new graphic designer. This is too much, I say! Ok, I’ll tell her HR woman to look for new people. “Oh! Heavens, no! The poor HR woman is too busy with other paperwork.” Hadn’t we seen her go dotty already? My colleague and I exchange looks and are both about to say something when she adds, “And make sure this new bloke has common sense. I don’t want another fellow who confuses blue with brown.”


The thing here is this: the logic provided is so complicatedly confusing and convincing at that time, you find yourself staring ahead, certain it’s your job and no one else’s! The most you can muster, then, is a duh-I say-duh-course-yeah! And feel jolly good about being the chosen one.

Later, you can fume or spew fire or froth at your mouth in revolt, but the harm has been done.

I am going to go looking for tutorials on how-to-hedge/hypnotise/fox-your-boss.

Any ideas?

17 Comments, Opinions & What Have you!:

Allergic to people 8/20/2009  

man! how you haven't gone crazy?

Elise 8/20/2009  

Hello, just wanted to leave you a comment to say how much I've enjoyed reading some of your posts today. You have a great site, wonderful pictures and writing.

Best wishes !

BardSpeaks 8/20/2009  

@ Allergic: M clueless!

@Elsie: Thanks. I'm glad you had a good time reading. :-)

soin 8/20/2009  

i wonder what will happen when you become a boss one day..

BardSpeaks 8/20/2009  

@Soin: I'll start meditating everyday! :-)

Utter Nonsense 8/20/2009  


Kaka 8/20/2009  

ur boss reminds me of spiderman's boss....lol....pray that she gets swine flu....:P

Jeannie 8/20/2009  

No advice whatsoever other than cover your ass

sonali 8/20/2009  

i wish your boss reads this. Nice post, and if something could be done then the problem would have been solved, but the sad part is that they are our boss so nothing can be done, listen to them and then come out and curse them, lol.

BardSpeaks 8/21/2009  

@Kaka: Oh! No. I quite like her. She's a nice person, otherwise:D

Anonymous 8/21/2009  

Poor you :)

Seems like a tough situation to be in..I wonder how you stay sane after going through all that...lol

Nice post..had a good time reading it:D

BardSpeaks 8/21/2009  

@ K Girl: I am a modern day new kinda phoenix. I rise everyday, ashes or not!

Saad Shaikh 8/21/2009  

I don't have such a corporate experience.. but I think bosses are meant to be that way.. :P

had fun time reading it.. ;)

and wish you good luck with your boss around.. :P

Jaideep Sobti 8/21/2009  
This comment has been removed by the author.
BardSpeaks 8/22/2009  

@Jaideep: I've been busy lately...came across some real esoteric hypnotism methods! Yeah, will gladly share this art with you provided you are undergoing a similar experience!! :P

scarlet pimpernel 8/24/2009  

Dear bard ,

Try not to bring your work in to your blog. I know of a person who lost her job this way :)

BardSpeaks 8/24/2009  

@SP: nah...this wasn't written in any negative sense.


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