On an elder sis...

20 October 2008

Honestly, I am not clear about my intention in writing this. All I know is that I felt a need to pen something about my it. Technically, the one I'm writing about is a cousin. In reality, she is one helluva sister! Well, to begin with, I did not always feel this thick with her. I always looked at her as someone really cool, sweet, nice and I had breezy conversations with her. It is almost after 2 decades that I found MY relationship with her. No, I cannot define it...she isn't my best friend or a guide or a cousin...she is different. Or, maybe, I discovered my own relationship with her only recently. Maybe, she discovered it, recently, too! In the last one year, I've had the deepest and the silliest of conversations with her not because she's an elder sis who is always willing to talk/in the same town, but because she is like a delicious pina colada...a blend of several thingies that makes a drink enjoyable and memorable. The point is, I call her names, I insult her, hit her with ill-meaning words, you name it and I do it...and she thinks nothing of these barbs. Instead, she welcomes them, and, with a perfect return serve, waits for more to come from me! Nothing unusual, you think? Maybe not. But, in an ever-expanding extended family, she is the only one I can call up anytime of the day or night and not feel unwelcome. She doesn't just do it out of politeness...she actually doesn't mind being disturbed! I do have other elder cousins I am fond of, but none with whom I share a great, near-perfect rapport. I am never judged, never told something that differs from the truth...I just don't have to worry about being good or bad or witty or sombre! She lets me BE! And, the best part about this is that not many know this about us! It's like an arcane thing we share...and it's beyond anyone's understanding, too. What I like the best about our relationship (apart from the boring, obvious ones!) is the back and forth of the most inanely humorous sms', hitting each other with repartees(quick, witty retorts...in case you were wondering!!!) until we're both rubicund with laughter! Not many people can laugh at themselves...she can. I've heard others tell her that she was their model...I've never felt this way, unfortunately, about her. But, I do look up to her for the fortitude she has, for her caring spirit and for the fact that no matter what she's facing, she never loses her sense of humour. This is what I hope I'll have some day. I have very little clue about the possible arrival of that day, but this much I know: when it does come, I'll know I have fulfilled a large part of what's spoken of as being a good human being.
The whole point of this article is this: people will forget the things you say, they will forget your name, and the things you do. But they will never forget the way you make them feel. Kudos to her for never failing anyone in this department. Given the extreme, grave, depressing and really trying situations she's been in, it is really amazing how this woman continues to be such a sweetheart...especially towards me!

2 Comments, Opinions & What Have you!:

Savitha C 10/21/2008  

Too difficult to find people who would not judge. I mean, you spend your quality time with somebody all the time thinking that you are being accepted for what you are, when you realise one fine day that all the time you were being assessed and judged. :( But I have also come to understand that sometimes you find the people who allow you to 'BE' in the strangest of places, and yes, at the right times. You are one lucky gal 'bard'!

Bardrox 10/22/2008  

Yes, elder sisters often have a way of being non-judgmental, sweet creatures!


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